The Little Red Ken
by weland
Summary: Oneshot. Kenshin. In the laundry. With a twist. Really!


The Little Red Ken…shin

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Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. Nor do I want him in my closet. Eww! I don't want any of the legal owners in my closet either. Or on my case about writing a story with characters that belong to them. I do not own "The Little Red Hen." No one does…and since it's entered the realm of anonymous folktales I feel even more entitled to use it how I see fit, which is 'absolutely perfectly!' Squee!

Author's note: This was actually inspired by another RK fanfic. I don't remember which one. Gomen! There have been a lot of stories about Kenshin and laundry, but I haven't seen this particular variant. Yet. It was just begging to be written. It was just too perfect!

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It was an ordinary day at the Kamiya dojo. The sun was shining, the dojo was run down and the residents were sitting on the engawa. Breakfast had been disposed of (into people's bellies and/or into the midden, depending on the individual).

"Anou…sessha has a lot to do today," he murmured to himself. Then he addressed his fellows. "Who will help this one cut some wood?"

"Not I," said Sano. "The fox said I wasn't supposed to use my hand."

"That's never stopped you using it before," said Yahiko. Sano shrugged.

"Not I," said Kaoru. "Sorry, Kenshin, I have to make lunch."

"Kami spare us from jou-chan's cooking!" Sano prayed. "She can burn water!" He yelped as Kaoru brought her bokken down on his head.

"Not I," said Yahiko. "Busu's making me do another five hundred swings."

"Then sessha will," said Kenshin.

And he did. He went out to the wood pile, put the first log on the stump, and neatly split it. He continued through the woodpile until he had a stack of wood the perfect size for using as fuel. He carried the wood to the designated location, arranged the wood to burn, then went back to the front of the house. No one had left yet. They were still sitting on the porch pecking at, wolfing down or otherwise eating lunch.

"The wood is cut. Who will help sessha draw water from the well?" asked Kenshin.

"Not I," said Sano. "I'm gambling with my buddies today."

"Not I," said Kaoru. "I'm giving lessons at another dojo."

"Not I," said Yahiko. "I'm working at the Akabeko."

Kenshin frowned. Had they not already announced those plans? Why then were they still sitting there?

"Then sessha will," he said.

And he did. He lifted the cover off the well and began bringing up water. He emptied the well-bucket into the usable one and emptied the second bucket into a tub, which he had placed over the nascent fire, which he then lit. He monitored the fire carefully as he heated the water.

He returned to the house and filled a basket with dirty linens and exited through the front door, where he nearly dripped over the other residents, who were sitting on the engawa eating Kaoru's lunch.

"Who will help sessha wash the clothes?"

"Not I," said Sano. "Megitsune wrote all over my bandages. Don't want the ink to run." He choked. "Hey, Jou-chan, what the #$ did you put in this?"

Kaoru scowled. "Just be happy that you're even getting lunch, rooster-head. It's not like you ever offer to cook, assuming you can."

"Why, you…"

They immediately began tussling.

"Kaoru-dono, would you help sessha wash the clothes?" he asked, almost hidden and muffled by the pile of laundry.

"Anou…Kenshin…Ihavetogoteachatanotherdojogomen!" she gushed and promptly bolted.

The youngest started to get up. "Not I, said Yahiko. "Pee-yew! That stuff reeks! Count me out!" he said as he jumped down and ran off to visit Tsubame.

The laundry basket and heaped articles went up and down as Kenshin gave a huge sigh. "Then sessha guesses that sessha will," said the rurouni. "Alone. Again."

And he did. He dumped the clothes in the tub and washed them, hanging them up on the clothesline and pinning them in place as he finished each item. When all the clothes and linens were hung, he emptied the bucket, cleaned out the fire and put everything away. Then he went inside and began making dinner.

"The clothes have all been washed and are dry," he announced as he set out dinner in front of everyone, who had magically appeared after being mysteriously absent all afternoon. "Who will help sessha fold them up and put them away?"

"Not I," said Sano, holding up and waving his right, heavily bandaged hand.

"Not I, said Kaoru, absently glaring at Sano. "Sano, that is the lamest excuse I have ever heard from you!"

"Naw-eye," said Yahiko, through a mouthful of food, gobbling as fast as he could while Kaoru and Sano were distracted by their latest squabble.

"Then sessha will," he declared.

And he did. He left them consuming the remainder of his superb dinner and got out the basket and took it outside. He began taking clothing off the line, folding them neatly and placing them neatly in the basket. Then he headed back inside with his basket piled high with sweet-smelling, incandescently clean, folded clothes and linens.

He could see much more easily over the neatly stacked laundry than over the randomly heaped laundry. He saw the three of them sitting and laughing over the remains of dinner. A thought of vengeance crept into his head and his mouth quirked up on one side.

"Anou…" he began, "who will help Sessha _wear_ the clothes?"

Three pairs of eyes suddenly turned on him, spotting the interloper. Three noses snorted angrily. Three sets of dinnerware were suddenly overturned as three youngsters proceeded to let the red head know exactly what they thought of that question.

"Ororoooo…"

The end.


End file.
